I was watching an old Portlandia episode last night, the one where Fred’s hair turns grey overnight and he confronts a scientist, angrily demanding he do something about time. It is not as advertised! I agree. It zooms and slows and halts and races. It is not even and predictable as we were led to believe. Otherwise, I would not be turning sixty this summer. It’s not that I mind getting older, exactly. It’s just so unfreakingbelievable. Now I know why my late mother-in-law would talk about a “girl” she went to high school with, even though that “girl” was currently eighty years old. I get it now. I don’t understand it, but I get it.